Whilst in Mexico, some friends and I had lovely conversations. One brought up (or made me think of) something I had written about four years ago and had penned in my journal. Thought I would share it here. Side note: I tend to ramble and it is most apparent that it wasn’t edited……also it is interesting for me to read years later and see what points I still hold to, things I would tweak and things I smile at and think, “Precious.”
“For some time now I have been wanting to write down my thoughts of marriage. Just for myself since my Comp Two teacher spiked my interest as to what is the point of marriage. He challenged us to think (ponder) on it. However we could not base any of our convictions or ideas that we brought before the class on the Bible or any ‘religious’ reasons. Although it is possible to come up with or find to the point quotes about what marriage is, the more we discussed it and I contemplated it, there is absolutely no point to getting married unless God is the center point. It is possible to come up with arguments against any statement that is made. When entering into marriage we have so many expectations not only of the one we are marrying but also of the whole institution. We imagine (or at least some do) how it will be, how we will re-act in not only ‘happy days/times’ but also the tempests that come. And of course we always act just like a model wife/husband. I believe it is therefore necessary to take a step back, see realistically how we already handle situations, realizing that if there is something flawed in our character, this must be acknowledged now and worked on as marriage will not solve these problems. Expectations arise from how we view people and how we think they should be. This should not be and I believe they are detrimental as we should not be looking at the person first, but our eyes should be concentrated first and foremost on God. He is our True Love and without Him in the center, the marriage will not flourish. In German the word ‘marriage’ is ‘Ehe.’ There is a short diagram that some Christians use with this word:
Einer (masc. one) Herr (Lord) Eine (fem. one)
The Lord is in the middle.
I definitely do not claim to be an expert by any means on this obviously, but it is good to really understand what this topic is about. It doesn’t end with flowers, bridesmaids and cake. It is just the beginning.
Marriage was created by God as a union between a man and a woman, therefore how can we think of leaving Him out of it? Man is the head of the family. This doesn’t mean he is a tyrannical ruler and the woman the quiet servant. God created the woman as a ‘helpmeet’ to the man and ladies even if that may be contrary to the idea of an independent womanhood, this is one of our main tasks. And a very honourable one. I believe marriage is a team effort. The wife should be able to state her opinion, warn if needed and yes, even disagree with her husband. However an end decision is left with the man. Granted the woman makes decisions too, that should be elementary, but the point is that the man is the head of the household. It is not degrading to the woman. It is not anything that puts women on a lower status than men. It is a matter of order. (This is all very easy for me to say, I am still single, but this is how I ‘expect it to be and how I hope I would be.)
Marriage is more than just two people loving each other but also about liking each other and witnessing and sharing someone’s life with them. So the point of marriage? Life isn’t about marriage and family. Life is about a person, you and me, and their relationship with God. Marriage is a gift from God, a mile point in our lives, if God wills it. It is sharing the path of life with a special person towards our ultimate goal, everlasting life with God, our true Husband. That is the point.”